Beyond Good and Evil—The Truth of Duality

The Battle Within 🤺⚔️

An old Cherokee story tells of a young boy who confided in his grandfather about the battle raging within him. The grandfather smiled and said:

"Inside each of us, a battle rages between two wolves. One wolf is filled with anger, envy, sorrow, fear, greed, and all the darkness in the world. The other is filled with love, joy, peace, hope, kindness, and light." The boy thought for a moment before asking, “Grandpa, which wolf wins?” His grandfather’s response was simple: "The one you feed."

 Transformation and the Paradox of Choice 🦋

Lately, my love for butterflies has been reignited. They embody transformation itself. But does the caterpillar know that within it lies a butterfly? Much like the battle of the wolves, our choices shape the form we take.

I resonate with the wisdom in the grandfather’s story, yet I’ve come to see another truth: we don’t just feed one wolf—we embody both. True integration requires acknowledging both light and shadow, embracing the contradictions within us. Only by accepting this duality can we find liberation.

 Power, Balance, and the Sword We Sheathe ⚔️

Jordan Peterson once reframed the biblical phrase “The meek shall inherit the earth” by saying:

“He that has a sword and is skilled at using it, but keeps it sheathed, can inherit the earth.”

This shifts the notion of meekness from weakness to conscious restraint. But what if we explored this idea through another lens—one rooted in balance, sustainability, and a philosophy I hold dear: Ubuntu?

Ubuntu, an African concept meaning “I am because you are,” first came to me in my early twenties while researching NGOs in Africa. Over time, it evolved from an intellectual understanding to something deeply embodied. I saw it in South Africa’s post-apartheid reconciliation, in Rwanda’s ability to rise from its darkest past, and in communities choosing healing over revenge.  

The Kigali Memorial: A Mirror to Our Own Darkness 🕊️

I didn’t fully grasp Ubuntu’s weight until I stood in the Kigali Genocide Memorial in Rwanda. There, among the remains of newborns, children, and adults—thousands of skulls stacked as silent witnesses—I was confronted by an uncomfortable truth:

We, too, are capable of such atrocities.

In 1994, over 900,000 Tutsis were slaughtered, and millions more displaced in just 100 days. Neighbors turned executioners. Communities obliterated—all over differences as minute as facial features. But history didn’t begin in 1994. The foundations of genocide were laid long before—through colonialism, dehumanization, and a slow, systematic erosion of empathy. The Kigali Memorial does not seek to shame Rwanda but to remind us—humanity itself—of the darkness we are all capable of. That given the right conditions, could any of us be led to justify the unthinkable? 

"I Am the Problem"—Owning Our Humanity 🌍

G.K. Chesterton once responded to the question, “What is wrong with the world?” with two haunting words: “I am.” Until we acknowledge our role in humanity’s struggles, the solution will continue to elude us.

Bob Marley echoed this in One Love:

"One love, one heart, let’s get together and feel alright."

But he also asks a harder question:

“Is there a place for hopeless sinners,
Who have hurt all mankind just to save their own?”

The Kigali Memorial asks us the same. Can we truly see ourselves in history’s atrocities? Can we acknowledge our own darkness? Because the battle of the wolves is not just personal—it’s collective. 

Ubuntu: The Sound of Collective Humanity 🎶

As I stood there, surrounded by echoes of both destruction and resilience, I realized: Ubuntu is not just a word—it is a way forward. It is a reminder that we are interconnected, that our actions ripple beyond ourselves.

Until we embrace this truth—until we listen to the sound of collective humanity—we will remain trapped in the unconscious loop of both the problem and the solution.

And yet, a question lingers in my mind: Do they ever hear the call?

I often wonder. This thought has walked beside me for most of my adult life, lingering in the spaces between uncertainty and resolve. Life’s landscape shifts constantly—an ever-changing menu of uncertainties served hot daily. And through it all, one realization has been at the crux of my existence:

Every why has its because.
They are opposite sides of the same coin.
The end justifies the means—but only if we choose the means with care.

This is the paradox of the Gardening Warrior—one who understands that destruction and creation, light and shadow, war and peace, are not enemies but necessary companions.

To wield the sword is to acknowledge the darkness, to be capable of destruction. But to plant a seed—to cultivate, to nurture—is to choose life. True power is knowing when to unsheathe the blade and when to till the soil.

We are all Gardening Warriors in our own way, navigating the battle within, deciding which wolf to feed. And perhaps, in the end, the only real battle is whether we learn to hear the call at all. 

Let’s Keep the Conversation Alive. Until next time, may we hold both light and shadow with wisdom.

Stay tuned for more reflections and heartfelt dialogues in upcoming editions of Candid Conversations Newsletters and Podcasts.