Candid Conversations Newsletter: Myopia, Resilience, and the Slow, Hard Work of Healing

These past few days made me pay attention in a way I usually don’t.

How many times have you stood ten toes down on something you felt strongly about? I know I have. I’ve been firm about things that line up with my core values. But here’s the thing about life: you really don’t know what you don’t know.

When Pain Shrinks Your World 🤏🏽

I’m not big on medication. I’ll take an aspirin here and there, but I’ve always leaned toward homeopathic remedies, teas, and tinctures. Still, on my recent visit to the dentist, that emergency root canal had me rethinking everything. Pain will humble you. Pain will narrow your world quick.

I was taking every narcotic they gave me, plus whatever over-the-counter stuff I thought might help. And honestly, I think the older you get, the more intense pain feels. It’s like your body holds onto every memory, every hit, every strain, and piles them all into the moment you’re in.

Short-Sighted Living 👓

Myopic, meaning short-sighted. And that’s exactly where I landed. The pain was so bad it brought weakness, brain fog, muscle aches, and joint pain. All of that from a tooth. But I didn’t care. All I wanted was relief. I wasn’t thinking about the long-term effects or what those meds might do to my organs. I just wanted the pain to stop.

And it made me wonder: what else do we overlook just to ease the pain?

Pain Beyond the Physical 🥲

Pain isn’t only physical. It shows up in the emotional too. The loss of someone close. A relationship you thought was solid suddenly falling apart. Even a sprain or small fracture that comes out of nowhere. We reach for something fast, something that soothes us, something that takes the edge off.

But in the rush to feel better, what do we give up in the long run?

Maybe that’s the real lesson from the whole toothache situation. Not the pain itself, but how pain can shrink your view, mess with your thinking, and make you forget parts of yourself you said you’d protect.

When Pain Collapses the Horizon 💥

That toothache showed me more than just how much pain I could tolerate.

It showed me how fast pain can pull your world in tight. How it can turn long-term thinking into, “Let me just get through the night." When you’re in that place, relief becomes the only thing that matters.

Emotional pain works the same way.

Grief, heartbreak, disappointment. They all bring their own kind of myopia. The world feels smaller. Your choices feel limited. Even your imagination takes a hit. And you reach for whatever gives you a quick escape, not necessarily what heals you.

Resilience and the Wider View 🪟

That’s where resilience comes in.

Emotional resilience is choosing to widen your view, even when life keeps trying to narrow it.

It’s slowing down enough to notice the patterns under the pain. The shortcuts you take when you’re overwhelmed. The truths you avoid because they sting.

Physical pain taught me something emotional pain has been hinting at for years.

When you rush to numb the hurt, you usually slow down the healing.

Because healing isn’t just relief.

Healing is understanding why the pain is knocking on your door in the first place.

Rearranging Old Wounds 🤕

And if one tooth could make me forget what I stand on, imagine what unresolved grief can do.

Imagine what childhood wounds can do.

Imagine what breakups and losses can slowly rearrange in us.

Pain tightens us.

Healing opens us up.

Resilience is the bridge that carries us from one place to the other.

Sitting With Ourselves Again 🤫

So I’m learning to slow down a bit.

To sit with the discomfort instead of running from it.

To ask myself the questions I used to avoid.

What am I soothing instead of understanding?

What truth am I sidestepping?

What part of me is still healing from something I never said out loud?

And eventually, something shifts. Not because the pain disappears, but because I’m not letting it take over the whole story anymore.

The Thin Line Between Relief and Losing Yourself ☯️

And here’s the part that really got me thinking. If pain could make me fold that quickly, what about the people who don’t have the same strength in that moment? What about the ones who take pain meds and never find their way back? Or the ones who turn to alcohol to cool the edge, until cooling becomes escaping, and escaping becomes survival?

Some people aren’t lucky.

Some slip into that quiet purgatory where relief slowly turns into dependence.

And it’s not because they’re weak. It’s because pain can be relentless. Pain can be persuasive. Pain can sound like the only friend you have when you’re tired and alone.

If that little window of pain could push me even slightly off center, imagine someone who doesn’t have support or clarity or room to breathe. Addiction doesn’t always start with curiosity. Sometimes it starts with desperation. Sometimes it starts with a simple wish for one moment where life doesn’t hurt so much.

And the truth is, not everyone comes back from that place. Some get stuck between hurt and healing, caught in a cycle that keeps shrinking their vision until they can’t see themselves anymore.

Holding Ourselves, and Each Other, With Grace 🍃

Maybe resilience isn’t just about widening your own view.

Maybe it’s also about recognizing how thin that line really is for all of us.

How human we are.

How quickly pain can pull any one of us farther than we meant to go.

To me, that’s the quiet heart of resilience.

Being present without being swallowed.

Healing without pretending.

Choosing clarity even when pain tries to blur everything.

And maybe, just maybe, when we finally understand that, we learn to hold ourselves, and each other, with a little more grace.

A Continued Call to Action 📞

The pain from the devastation Hurricane Melissa left in Jamaica continues to be felt by thousands. Many are still without power and running water. The government, humanitarian organizations, and everyday civilians have all stepped in to help. Jamaicans are a resilient people who take pride in their independence, but even the strongest need support from time to time. And this moment is like no other.

Rebuilding a nation is a collective act of love.
So, if you can give, give.
If all you can do is share this edition, share widely.
And if neither is possible, hold a thought, whisper a prayer,
or offer a moment of grace for those who lost everything
and are still finding the will to rise.

🫵👉 Support Jamaica’s Recovery