Candid Conversations Newsletter: The Quiet Between Us

When Perception Isn’t Reality 

I went out recently with a few friends. Some I hadn’t seen in a while. I’ve been lucky to be held by a few meaningful friendships. The thing about wanting connection is,

you’ve got to offer it first. And when you’ve done that for a long time,

you begin to understand the shape of that commitment.

You become the one who checks in.

Who remembers.

Who shows up.

Even when it’s inconvenient.

You hold space for others, even when yours is barely enough.

You’re a friend to many. But not all of them are friends to you.

That’s a specific kind of ache. The ache of showing up deeply,

while quietly realizing they may not show up the same for you.

Still, some bonds remain.

Rare ones. But even those come with risk.

The risk of mistaking closeness for clarity.

Of confusing memory with truth.

Of seeing through a lens painted by meaning,

instead of what’s actually there.

Where Does Ego Belong in Friendship? 🔨

Sometimes what we see is misleading. Not because we’re blind.

But because we’re looking through layers.

Perception isn’t just seeing. It’s understanding.

It’s the ability to read between what is shown

and what is real. It asks for presence.

But also perspective.

It calls for compassion and the courage to question your own version of the story.

That’s where ego speaks up. It fills the silence with assumptions.

It colors the unknown with memory.

It finishes the sentence before the truth has time to speak.

Sometimes that realization is gentle.

Other times, it knocks the wind out of you.

But either way, it invites growth.

From reacting

to noticing.

From assuming

to actually seeing.

From Sight to Vision 👁️

In the quietest, darkest places—where things feel both familiar and distant—

you might finally notice something. If you pause long enough,

If you stop looking to confirm what you already believe, you’ll feel it begin.

Sight turning into something deeper.

That’s where vision starts.

Not with the eyes.

But with compassion. Real vision isn’t about identifying.

It’s about understanding.

It isn’t about being right.

It’s about being present.

To really perceive,

you have to drop your story.

Loosen your grip on what you think is happening. Let humility speak before certainty does.

The Ego, the Need, and the Stillness 🔦

You and I—we have egos. And every ego has its appetite.

Sometimes it’s anxious.

Sometimes it’s needy.

Sometimes it wants more than it can hold.

But Paul once said:

“Not that I speak in respect of need, for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content.”

That kind of contentment is not apathy.

It isn’t resignation.

It’s the kind of stillness that stays awake. That watches without grasping.

That trusts what’s unfolding. That is the path of the Old Soul.

Not someone who’s just been hurt—but someone who’s been rebuilt.

The Old Soul doesn’t control. They hold space.

They don’t just notice.

They discern.

Old Soul, New Eyes 🌓

Am I an Old Soul?

Yes.

I’ve been here before.

• To rise.

• To fall.

• To want.

• To be emptied out.

I carry the tension of what’s fading

and what’s still coming.

Samsara softens in the presence of truth.

Struggle makes room for surrender.

And grace—grace doesn’t chase you.

It waits. Until your hands are open

then wisdom opens the door.

Moksha walks through it.

Peace to the tired.

Grace to the willing.

Wait… What Did I Just Read? 🍃

( What This Means for Me)

So what is this really saying?

It’s about

the loneliness of deep loyalty,

the distortion of ego and memory,

the move from reaction to reflection, and the strength it takes to release the need to be right.

It’s also a reminder.

To stop gripping the illusion.

To let your vision evolve.

To see what’s real—beneath the noise, the fear, and the old stories.

This is for the ones in transition.

The ones growing out of old skin.

The ones who’ve been misunderstood

and are finally ready

to be seen.

This isn’t a fix.

It’s a language.

A way to clarity.

For those learning how to see again

with new eyes.

To hear again

with new ears.

Because where love abounds,

grace shows up too.